


Desperate Vigil

by ElinorJane



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Space Family (Star Wars: Rebels), mom Hera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:27:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElinorJane/pseuds/ElinorJane
Summary: Ezra’s perspective during S2 episode “The Protector of Concord Dawn”.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Hera Syndulla
Comments: 4
Kudos: 34





	Desperate Vigil

Ezra was sorting through the odds and ends collected from recent missions when Zeb called his name abruptly.

“Kid, there’s been a distress call. From Hera’s squadron.” He jerked his head in the direction of the control room.

Ezra halted for half-a-second, trying to imagine what might have gone wrong; he then abandoned his tools and pelted after Zeb. “What happened?”

“Don’t know,” Zeb said shortly.

Kanan was already in the control center when he and Zeb dashed in. Ezra saw two fighters in space, one of them rapidly moving to dock with the control ship. Sabine’s voice came through the comm, defeated and frustrated. “Kanan, these Protectors work for the Empire too!”

Behind Sabine’s ship, another vessel shot out of hyperspace. A wreck of a ship, streaming smoke and debris. It careened on its side as though the pilot was gone. Ezra gasped.

_Hera’s ship_.

Kanan dashed forward and activated the comm. “Hera? Hera! Can you hear me?”

No answer.

The ship drifted nearer, a charred, smoking mess. The thrusters had been shot away. The front of the ship was black as though the engines had exploded. The cockpit was clouded with smoke, and bolts of electricity flickered across the wreck.

Ezra’s mouth went dry. He couldn’t connect _Hera_ with that wreckage. She was a good pilot. The best pilot.

“I see her!” Sabine cried, “I see her Kanan—it’s bad!”

It was a mistake somehow. It had to be.

“You’ve got to hurry! Please hurry!” Sabine begged.

Kanan turned and dashed from the room. But Ezra couldn’t tear his eyes from the wreck. It wasn’t possible. Vaguely, he heard Commander Sato’s voice giving sharp orders and replies coming through the internal comm. He suddenly realized where Kanan had gone and also turned and rushed from the room.

He reached the launch bay and dashed through the crowd, almost knocking over pilots and engineers and anyone else who stood in his way. People clustered around the wrecked ship, arguing and insisting. But he stopped short when he heard Kanan’s voice. “There’s no time.” He heard the hum of a lightsaber.

He pushed his way forward and reached the cockpit just as Kanan kicked away wedges of glass he had cut from the cracked windshield. Smoke poured out of the hole so thickly that Ezra couldn’t see inside the cockpit. Kanan ducked through the hole and disappeared into the smoke. Sabine hovered nearby, ready to follow, and Ezra dashed to her side. “Sabine, what happened!”

Her voice was low and tight. “I thought she was behind me…”

Kanan appeared again, carefully tugging a limp body.

_Hera_.

Her helmet was spotted with soot. Her pilot suit was charred and stained with blood. Her lekku swung heavily, dark with bruises and soot. Her skin was pale grey-green, and as Kanan eased her out of the opening, Ezra thought he saw shrapnel lodged in one of her lekku. He swallowed hard.

He and Sabine jumped forward to help Kanan, but before they could take hold of Hera, someone called, “Stretcher incoming!” and someone caught him by the shoulders and pulled him back.

“Let go!” Ezra yelled, “I’m going to help—”

“Let the orderlies do their job!” the man said.

Ezra wrenched his shoulders free and tried to dash forward, but a larger hand grabbed his arm. Ezra jerked and kicked. “Get off—!”

“Get out of the way!” Zeb growled. Ezra stopped struggling as several pilots and crew pushed a stretcher through the crowd; Hera had already been loaded onto it. Kanan followed the small group.

“Come on,” Zeb muttered, letting go of Ezra’s arm and also Sabine’s. “They’ll know what to do. Let’s get to the med bay.”

But when the three arrived, no one would let them in. Pilots, crew, soldiers, almost all of Phoenix squadron crowded by the doors, and they parted for the newcomers; but when Ezra reached for the door, at least three people moved to block his way. “No one’s allowed in,” said a pilot. “I’m sorry.”

“You let Kanan in!” Ezra didn’t even know how he knew this.

“They’re caring for her now,” one of the Phoenix squadron pilots said. She glanced at the doors and continued almost helplessly, “We’d only be in the way.”

“She’s our captain and friend!” Sabine shouted. “You have to let us in there.”

“I’m sorry. Doctor’s orders,” a maintenance man said.

Zeb let out a low growl but didn’t protest. Ezra moved quickly toward the door, but the hand of a pilot shot out and caught him. Again. He shook off the grip and turned his back to the man.

Minutes passed. Sabine began pacing. A few members of the group were summoned back to their work. Then the pilots were called away. Surely the minutes had turned to hours now. There were no distinguishable voices from inside. Ezra edged closer to the doors, listening to the whir of machines and low voices from inside. Shut out. He crossed his arms and huddled in on himself. Sabine paced endlessly, quickly. Zeb stood silent, his shoulders bowed as though if they carried a weight. 

The other members of the group drifted away, one by one. The Phoenix squadron pilots were the last to leave. Ezra, Zeb, and Sabine remained, Sabine pacing, Zeb standing silent and bowed, and Ezra listening and still helpless and utterly, utterly useless.

He still almost couldn’t believe why they were here. He half-expected to hear Hera’s voice from down the hall, followed by her quick footsteps and _herself_ , upright and in control and gently asking why they were shirking their work?

How had this _happened?_

The noise of machines stopped. All three charged toward the door when it opened, but Sabine got inside first. Hera lay in a medical bed with Kanan on one side and a medical droid on the other. Hera looked better, wrapped in bandages and a hospital gown, but she was unconscious.

“Her vital signs have stabilized,” the medical droid droned, “but she requires rest.”

There was more, but Ezra didn’t hear it. _Stabilized_. That meant…

He started when he felt Kanan’s hand on his shoulder. “You okay, kid?”

“Yeah,” Ezra muttered. Of course not, and they both knew it. But there was nothing else to do or say, and Kanan gave a single nod and slowly went back to the control room. Ezra followed.

Zeb and Chopper were already there; Sabine burst in moments later. “Fenn Rau. That’s who did this. That’s who we’re up against.”

In a matter of minutes, a new plan was laid: Kanan would go to Concord Dawn and disable the ships and the base so the Protectors couldn’t attack them again or betray them to the Empire. Commander Sato approved. Kanan insisted on going alone.

“I’m already one man down,” Kanan said. “I won’t risk anyone else.”

Oh, right, that made sense. He might as well try to take out an Imperial facility on his own. Ezra and Zeb exchanged incredulous glances.

“Kanan, I know the Mandalorians!” Sabine insisted. “You need me on this mission!”

Ezra and Zeb darted before the door, blocking Kanan’s exit. “No way!” Zeb declared.

“We’re a team,” Ezra added, crossing his arms. He was about to point out that Hera and Sabine went together and with a backup squad, and look how that turned out—when Kanan said, “All right. I’ll take Chopper.”

Chopper whomped and beeped in alarm.

“But—”

“But that’s all.” Kanan turned to Zeb. “And this is not open for further discussion.” He strode through the doors without another word.

No one dared to disobey when Kanan spoke with that tone. Ezra glanced at Zeb, surprised, deflated, hurt, and _afraid_ because if Hera couldn’t handle these Protectors…

Almost without thinking about it, he ran down the hall. “Kanan!”

Kanan turned so suddenly that Ezra fell back a step. “You’re _not_ coming.”

“I-I know.” Ezra crossed his arms and bit his lip. “I wasn’t going to ask. Just…be careful.”

Kanan gave a small, single nod. Then he turned and continued down the long hall.

Ezra had watched his master leave for missions many times, but he couldn’t shake a cold feeling that this might be the last. That maybe his vision from the temple was about to come true, just in a different way, because Kanan meant to protect them all and so he was going _alone_.

When Kanan turned the corner and vanished from sight, Ezra balled his hands into fists. Then he stormed down the hall. He didn’t consciously decide where to go, but his feet took him right to the medbay. He marched through the doors, and the medical droid looked up and began to speak. “Don’t bother,” Ezra snapped. “I’m here to stay.” He dragged a stool to Hera’s bedside and sat down.

The droid gave a mechanical sigh, finished whatever it was doing, and left.

He couldn’t take his eyes off Hera. She was helpless, unaware of what was happening to her or anyone else, and she was never helpless.

“Hera?” Ezra whispered, “You’ve got to wake up. Kanan’s being stupid again…”

She wasn’t covered in soot and blood, but she didn’t look much better. One cheek was bruised; the other had deep scratches. A short bandage covered the corner of her eyebrow. She’d put on a pilot’s helmet before leaving, a helmet with a visor. How had her face gotten scratched?

“He’s…he’s going back to those Protectors, and you’ve got to tell him…got to knock some sense into him…”

Her nearest hand was bandaged. Ezra stood up and peered at the other side of the bed and saw that her other hand was also bandaged. He gingerly laid his hand over her nearest one and gently turned it over. The bandages stuck to her palm and were spotted with blood. Ezra stared, scrambling to think how her hands had been injured through her leather gloves. The smoke in the cockpit…the electric bolts. Something had blown up inside.

Ezra slowly sat down. Hera was still pale. Bandages swathed her head and the top of her lekku and stretched under her jaw.

“And he’s going alone because…b-because…”

_Her vital signs have stabilized_.

There were no monitors, other than a brace on her opposite hand and some instrument clipped to her finger. What if she needed something, some equipment or medicine that the fleet didn’t have?

“We should have gone with you,” he whispered in a cracked voice. “We all should have gone. I’m sorry. And now Kanan’s gone, on his own, to—”

His voice broke, and he swallowed hard, again and again. He had to hold it together, for Hera’s sake. “He took Chopper, though. That’s good, right? I mean, assuming Chopper doesn’t throw him out the airlock before they get there.” He instinctively gave a dry laugh, but the joke didn’t help his spirits. He rested his arms on the narrow bed and rested his chin on his arms.

“Your droid…he’s out to get us sometimes, you know? He whacked me as he was leaving with Kanan. Probably would have hit Zeb if he’d been in reach. Or he just knew I particularly wanted to go.” He gave another empty laugh and shook his head a little. “We could do worse than Chopper, I guess. We can put up with him ‘cause you show us how…and-and you put up with us even when we act stupid and forget our chores and steal TIE fighters…”

His vision blurred, and he blinked rapidly and drew a shaky breath. “Hera? Hera, can you hear me?”

There was no answer.

He lost track of how long he sat there. Every few minutes, he checked to make sure he could still see her breathing. The empty room grew cold, and Ezra shivered.  
If he was cold, perhaps Hera was cold. She’d felt a little cold, come to think of it, when he’d turned over her hand; and in a panic, he touched her hand again. Was she cold? Or was that just his imagination? Ezra straightened and looked around, but the med droid was nowhere in sight. He briefly considered returning to the Ghost to find a blanket, but immediately dismissed the thought. He got up and carefully rummaged in the few lockers and storage containers until he found another blanket. But it was too short, and Ezra took off his short jacket and draped it over her feet.

He sat down again and made sure he could see her breathing.

A moment later, he heard Zeb’s heavy footsteps approaching. Ezra straightened and shook himself a little.

“You okay?” Zeb muttered.

“Yeah. Hey, could you bring a blanket?”

“Sure, kid.” Zeb lumbered away, and presently returned with that blue blanket from the , _Ghost_. He handed it to Ezra, and Ezra stood up and draped it over Hera. Zeb’s ears went up in surprise, but he said nothing. Ezra sat down, and Zeb went away and presently returned with another chair, which he plunked down by the bedside and then sat in it himself. 

Zeb was restless. He tried to not make too much noise, but he couldn’t sit still for long, paced a little, and came back to the chair. Presently he got up abruptly, muttering something about checking for news and he’d be right back, and left. He returned a few minutes later and sat down again. They both were quiet for a long time.

Ezra suddenly realized who was missing and asked, “Hey, where’s Sabine?”

Zeb sighed, and his ears drooped. “Yeah…she stowed away with Kanan.”

“What?” Ezra was on his feet before he realized it. “Zeb—”

“They’re long gone!” Zeb growled back. “Nothing we can do. Probably just as well; they can keep an eye on each other. It was my fault anyway,” he added in a lower voice. “I should have kept an eye on her.” Zeb’s eyes flicked toward Hera as if talking to her. “’M sorry.”

Ezra sat down and rested his arms on the bedside again. “Yeah. Probably just as well. They’ll be okay,” he said quietly, trying to sound confident. A moment later, he muttered, “Should have thought of that myself…” He instinctively glanced at Hera, half-expecting to see a disapproving look bent upon him. But her eyes were still closed.

There was nothing for them to do, save keep watch. And wait for Kanan and Sabine to come back. If they came back at all. Ezra shook away the thought and focused on watching Hera. She was still asleep—or just unconscious.

Zeb got up and monitored the _Ghost_ for a little while and then came back to the med bay and sat down. After another long time, he stirred and said, “I’ll keep watch on her. Get some rest.”

Ezra shook his head. Zeb didn’t argue.

Presently, Zeb got up and went again in search of news. He was gone for a while, but he returned with nothing to say—there were no reports from anywhere. After growling out this fact, he paused and looked at Ezra critically. “I’m serious, kid. Get some rest. I’ll watch Hera.”

“I’m staying.”

“You’re exhausted!”

“We’re all exhausted,” Ezra returned flatly. “Why don’t _you_ rest?”

“Kid—”

“Zeb!—” Ezra drew a deep breath and suddenly felt shaky. His voice was low. “I—I couldn’t save my parents. And I can’t help Kanan. But I—m-maybe I can do something here…if anything goes wrong.”

Zeb was quiet. Ezra glanced at him and saw his friend standing with drooping shoulders, but there was a gleam of understanding in his eyes. “Okay. Just take it easy…and call me if you need some shut-eye.”

“Thanks.”

Zeb sat on the chair, and again, both of them were quiet for a long time. Presently, they both heard the sound of the ship’s intercom, and Zeb jumped up and left to receive any news.

Ezra leaned forward and rested his arms on the bedside. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I swear…” he choked. “I don’t wish I’d stowed away. Not really. I won’t leave you, Hera.”

He tucked the blankets around her more firmly and a few minutes later, felt her hands to make sure she wasn’t too hot. He sat down and pinched himself to stay awake. After a moment’s hesitation, he slipped his hand into hers. It was childish—but it made him feel better.

As he dozed, he sometimes imagined that her hand was squeezing back, and he would blearily sit up only to see her still unconscious. Then he would shake himself awake and eventually begin to drowse and imagine again. Once, he wondered how much time had actually passed.

He felt Hera’s hand close on his a little, and he shook himself again, refusing to fall asleep and dream. Except…blinking rapidly, he saw and felt her hand close more firmly around his. He looked up. Her eyelids were fluttering.

“Hera? Hera!” he leaned forward. “Can you hear me?”

She groaned but tilted her head toward him and slowly opened her eyes, blinking.

“Hera?” he whispered.

She gave a weak smile. “Well, you look exhausted.”

Her voice was thin and low. But it was hers; she was awake—she was okay. Ezra dropped his head abruptly on the bedside, unsure whether he was about to laugh or cry or try to explain everything.

Hera squeezed his hand a little tighter. “I’m okay, Ezra,” she murmured. (Figures she would comfort him when she was the one in a hospital bed.) “Where’s Sabine?”

Ezra sat up. “She’s fine. She got back here in one piece after your crash…” He shuddered instinctively at the memory.

“And where’s Kanan?”

Ezra rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah…about that…” He quickly explained what had happened and how Kanan apparently intended to face down these trigger-happy Protectors by himself, but Sabine had stowed away with him. 

Hera did not look terribly happy at either piece of news, but she said, “Don’t worry about them, Ezra. If anyone can handle these Protectors, Kanan can.”

Ezra choked suddenly and gripped her hand. “I…that’s what I thought about you, Hera,” he muttered at last. “I can’t lose you—I can’t lose Kanan—I can’t lose _family_ again!” His voice broke, and his vision blurred once more, and he ducked his head.

“Oh, Ezra…” Hera said softly, and Ezra choked and dropped his head on the bedside. The blankets rustled, and Hera shifted, and he felt her other hand rest on his head. “Keep a secret?” she whispered.

He sniffed and nodded.

“I don’t want to lose family again either.” She squeezed his hand gently. “And I’m _very_ glad you were here when I woke up.”

Ezra sniffed again and managed to discreetly wipe his eyes before sitting up. Hera looked weak and tired, but she gave him her warm smile. He couldn’t help but smile back. “So get ready to scold Kanan and Sabine if—when they get back.”

“ _When_ they get back,” Hera said, a touch of sternness back in her voice. “Oh, I’m thinking grounding for a week and double chores for twice that long.”

“Okay, and for Kanan?” Ezra asked.

“I was talking about Kanan.” Hera bent an eyebrow with such a wry expression that Ezra burst into a peal of laughter. Something tight inside him seemed to break, and he found tears on his face again even as he kept laughing. 

It was okay. Everything was okay.


End file.
